Meanwhile, at the Ranch #3

The Mirror Situation

Two peacocks at the coop window

Two of the inmates. No where to go.

Since the lockup, things have been quiet.

Suspiciously quiet.

I put a large mirror inside the greenhouse. This is not a new idea — back when Morpheus and Neo were in the brooder, mirrors created a “virtual flock” and calmed them down almost instantly. Two chicks who couldn’t stand touching each other sat side by side and stared at themselves for hours. Peace, restored through narcissism.

The same logic applies now. Enrichment. Stimulation. Something to look at that isn’t each other.

What I did not expect was the scheduling.

Two birds stand in front of the mirror. Two birds wait out in the pen. It is always a matched pair — Han and Leia, or Morpheus and Neo. Never a mix of older and younger. They do not share mirror time across age groups.

Then, without warning or discussion, they switch.

I turn around and the two birds who were in front of the mirror are gone, and the other two are inside, in position, like they’ve been there all along.

No argument. No drama. No one had to be asked.

The birds who spent weeks fighting over perch inches have apparently worked out an orderly timeshare arrangement for a mirror. On their own. Without me.

I cannot tell if this is impressive or deeply unsettling. Possibly both.

• • •

Ranch Projects in Progress

Build Update

The Not-a-Chicken-Run

The framing for the not-a-chicken-run starts today. Three tons of sand are already on site. James has been buried with work, so this may be a solo project for a while. That’s fine. I know how to handle solo projects.

First stop: the hardware store. I will not be taking questions about how many times I’ve been there this week. Details.

James’s Project

The Automatic Coop Door

Not sourcing one. Not installing a kit. Building one from the ground up — PCB designed, components assembled, firmware written, door being cut. This is the same man who solved a week of peacock bedtime battles by standing quietly in a yard and doing nothing. He apparently contains multitudes.

Ongoing

The Pool Structure

A welding crew has been replacing the steel superstructure that holds the shade canopy over my therapy pool. Almost halfway done after two weeks — a proper rebuild, not a patch.

• • •

Catch Up

What’s New — Dispatches from the Ranch

The Night My Birds Ran Away From Home

Fifteen minutes before sunset. No birds. No sound. I walked two properties, drove the gravel road, and called until I was hoarse.

Read the post →

The Neighbor’s Flower Bed Is Not an Option, Morpheus

After a 24-hour escape, the birds came home. Most of them behaved. Morpheus had opinions about the flower bed.

Read the post →

Jail Birds

Nobody is happy. Four birds are in jail. James is building the thing I promised would never exist. Three tons of sand are saying everything he hasn’t had to.

Read the post →

Short Videos

The Nightly Peacock Roundup

The Nightly Peacock Roundup

It’s like herding cats, but worse.

Watch →

The Neo Fan Dance

The Neo Fan Dance

Full display. Full shimmy. Zero applause from Morpheus.

Watch →

Peacocks Calling From the Trees

Peacocks Calling to Each Other From the Trees

The sound that brought them home.

Watch →

• • •

Questionable Choice Award

Presented with reluctant pride




See the award →

This round, the award goes to all four birds. Collectively. Unanimously. With footage.

What we have on camera is all four of them clearing the fence in a line — calmly, deliberately, like a small delegation that had somewhere to be and simply hadn’t mentioned it. They walked two properties down to visit the neighbor, hung out for a while, and wandered back when they felt like it.

Not lost. Not fleeing anything. Just out.

The escape is why they’re in jail now. But the award is for the escape itself.

Congratulations to Han Solo, Princess Leia, Morpheus, and Neo — this round’s Questionable Choice Award winners. You caused a 45-minute search, a minor breakdown, and a commute I did not apply for.

Welcome to the club. You were already founding members.

• • •

If you need me, I’ll be at the hardware store for the 8th time this week and googling “can peafowl recognize themselves in a mirror or are they just impressed by the company.”

Meanwhile, at the Ranch #2


Turkey Mating Season (Nobody Is Having a Good Time)

Wild turkeys in the pasture

The wild turkeys are in full mating season, and they have brought the party to our property.

If you’ve never seen a wild turkey tom in full display, picture a feathered bowling ball puffed to maximum capacity, dragging his wings on the ground, and making a sound that is somewhere between a drum roll and a car that won’t start. Now picture several of them. All day. In the middle of the peafowl’s territory.

The toms are displaying. The hens are unimpressed. And the whole flock has decided that the best place to stage this production is right where my birds eat, patrol, and exist.

The peafowl are not amused. They did not audition for this. They did not agree to share the yard with a dozen inflated cousins who have no volume control and zero sense of personal space.

At least when my birds are dramatic, they have the courtesy to do it on their own property.

The Neighbor Visits

Remember the night all four birds vanished at dusk and I walked two properties, drove the gravel road, and called until I was hoarse?

I found out where they were going.

The next day, I got a call from our 92-year-old neighbor. He lives two properties down — nearly 300 yards through the brush.

He wanted to tell me how much he liked the peacocks visiting.

Visiting.

They weren’t lost. They weren’t confused. They weren’t running from a predator.

They were making social calls.

Apparently, all four birds had been walking down to his place, hanging out with him and his wife, and then — when they felt like it — wandering back.

Which is good. Because they have continued doing it. Every day. For the last week.

Sometimes they come home on their own. Most nights, I take an evening walk through the brush to go get them. The good news is they follow me home and go right into the greenhouse for bedtime, like the nightly roundup is a tradition they have grudgingly agreed to honor.

The bad news is I now have a commute.

For birds.

Ranch Security Report

The flock takes perimeter defense seriously. Their threat assessment, however, continues to need work.

🏗️

The construction crew. Threat: Imaginary

The workers have been on the property all week. The birds love them. They greet every truck, escort workers across the yard, and generally act like a welcoming committee that nobody requested. Not one alarm call.

🪜

The ladder. Threat: Imaginary

The moment a worker went vertical, all four birds lost their minds. Not when the strangers arrived. Not when power tools started. When a human went ten feet in the air. Apparently, a person at ground level is a friend. A person above the roofline is a threat requiring immediate response.

Threat assessment still needs work. But at least they’re alarming for something now.

Progress.

• • •

Catch Up

The origin story is complete.
The full run of Timeline posts — from “No chickens” to the ranch finally looking like the plan — is now live. If you’re new here, that’s where the story begins.

The Final Timeline Posts

Episode 10

The Accidental Walkabout

The birds went free range for the first time. Nobody asked if they were ready.

Read the Full Story →

Episode 11

The Great Relocation

Moving four teenage peafowl out of the porch and into the greenhouse. A process.

Read the Full Story →

Episode 12

The Part Where the Ranch Finally Looked Like the Plan

The last post in the origin story. The one where it all came together. Mostly.

Read the Full Story →

What’s New — Dispatches from the Ranch

The Night Nobody Slept (Including the Raccoons)

Read the post →

The Night They All Disappeared

Read the post →

The Day Han Solo Finally Got the Tesla

Read the post →

Short Videos

My Peacocks Sound Like Velociraptors

Watch →

Thunderstorm? My Peacocks Chose the Porch.

Watch →

Wild Turkey Throws Himself at a Moving Car — Twice

Watch →

The Nightly Peacock Roundup

Watch →

• • •

Questionable Choice Award

Presented with reluctant pride


Watch the footage

Watch the footage →

This round, the award goes to all four birds.

Collectively. Unanimously. With footage.

We caught them on camera clearing the fence in a line — calmly, deliberately, like a small delegation that had somewhere to be and had simply not mentioned it.

So I fixed the gate. With power tools. Problem solved.

They found a new spot.

I don’t know where it is yet. But they are still visiting the neighbors daily, which means they have already identified an alternate route and are not inclined to share it.

Congratulations to Han Solo, Princess Leia, Morpheus, and Neo — this round’s Questionable Choice Award winners. You earned it.

Welcome to the club. You were already members.

If you need me, I’ll be walking through the brush at dusk like a woman with a commute she didn’t apply for, googling “do peacocks visit neighbors on purpose or is this just a coincidence I’m going to have to manage.”