What's New
An ongoing documentation of questionable decisions
For how it all started, see The Story →
New incidents posted as they occur. No resolution expected anytime soon.
Filter by:
Case #1019
Logged: Apr 5, 2026
Safer, Simpler, and Absolutely Miserable
The birds are in lockdown. I listed every rational benefit. No power washing. No fox anxiety. No chasing anyone at sunset. Somehow, all of us are worse off.
Case #1018
Logged: Mar 27, 2026
Meanwhile, at the Ranch #3
The Mirror Situation Since the lockup, things have been quiet. Suspiciously quiet. I put a large mirror inside the greenhouse. This is not a new idea — back when Han…
Case #1017
Logged: Mar 23, 2026
Jail Birds
Nobody is happy. Four birds are grounded. James is building a chicken run. And every promise I made a year ago is quietly failing.
Case #1016
Logged: Mar 18, 2026
The Night My Birds Ran Away From Home
They have a heated greenhouse with perches and cameras. They have a yard full of bugs and a woman who caters to their every need. They chose the 92-year-old neighbor's…
Case #1015
Logged: Mar 18, 2026
The Neighbor’s Flower Bed Is Not an Option, Morpheus
The birds have been commuting to the neighbors every morning. Convenient, until dusk — when I found Morpheus lying in a flower bed, covered in dirt, sitting in a hollow…
Case #1014
Logged: Mar 12, 2026
Meanwhile, at the Ranch #2
Meanwhile, at the Ranch #2: Construction workers on ladders trigger alarm calls, turkey mating season tests everyone’s patience, and I find out the birds have been visiting a 92-year-old neighbor…
Case #1013
Logged: Mar 5, 2026
The Day Han Solo Finally Got the Tesla
It started with a turkey. It will probably end with a peacock. And somewhere in the middle, James just wants to park his car without incident.
Case #1012
Logged: Mar 2, 2026
The Night They All Disappeared
It was fifteen minutes before sunset. No birds. No sound. I walked two properties, drove the gravel road, and called until I was hoarse. One year in, and they found…
Case #1011
Logged: Feb 25, 2026
The Night Nobody Slept (Including the Raccoons)
Our springtime is usually pretty quiet. Today took the cake for sounds. A fox eviction, a greenhouse escape, a panic whistle, and a raccoon mating call that nearly ended my…
Case #1010
Logged: Feb 20, 2026
Meanwhile, at the Ranch #1
Meanwhile, at the Ranch #1: A turkey standoff, a fox eviction, a suspicious package, a squirrel that started a war, and a lizard who made a bad call.
Case #1009
Logged: Jan 29, 2026
The Day We Almost Lost Neo
There's a specific kind of text message that makes you leave wherever you are immediately. 'Something is wrong with your birds' is one of them.
Case #1008
Logged: Jan 22, 2026
Where’s Our Package
Living down a dirt road has its advantages. No one can find you. The disadvantage is that no one can find your address.
Case #1007
Logged: Jan 9, 2026
The 5 Things I Didn’t Plan For When Raising Peafowl
I thought I had done enough research before getting peafowl. I knew about diet, diseases, injuries, survival rates. I read about behavior patterns and took notes. I felt prepared. I…
Case #1006
Logged: Jan 7, 2026
The Night My Husband Put Four Teenage Peacocks to Bed
After a week of bedtime battles with four peacocks, my husband solved the problem in three minutes by doing absolutely nothing. The answer was silence.
Case #1005
Logged: Jan 6, 2026
The Night I Trained My Gargoyles (In The Sleet)
It was an hour after sunset, with a north wind blowing sleet straight into my face, and my 'not so Little Ones' were huddled on the roof of the greenhouse.…
Case #1004
Logged: Jan 5, 2026
The Night I Discovered Why My Birds Hate Bedtime
I have cameras all over the peacock area. Tonight I discovered the real reason Neo and Morpheus have been choosing rooftop camping. Han and Leia are bullies.
Case #1003
Logged: Jan 4, 2026
The Night I Turned The Greenhouse Into An Airbnb
I got a spotlight installed. I had treats. The greenhouse looked like a beautiful Airbnb. And Neo betrayed me with confidence.
Case #1002
Logged: Jan 3, 2026
The Night My Teenage Birds Escalated The Rebellion
After our first night of rooftop camping, everyone apparently decided this was the 'cool' thing to do. And since peacocks are basically teenagers with feathers, 'cool' always wins.
Case #1001
Logged: Jan 2, 2026
The Night the “Little Ones” Went Camping
At a very responsible hour (meaning: way too late), I discovered the Little Ones were not in the greenhouse. They were on top of the greenhouse.
