The Text

There’s a specific kind of text message that makes you leave wherever you are immediately.

“Something is wrong with your birds” is one of them.

“Leia is 30 feet up in the top of a tree. She won’t come down. Han is very upset calling her, and she is calling him.”

“What’s wrong?”

I mean… she’ll come down or she won’t. There’s not much I can do about a bird in a tree. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

But James was insistent. “Come home quickly. They are very upset.”

Neo Who?

When I arrived, Leia was no longer in the tree.

Neo was missing.

James was searching the property. I told him I’d call for Neo, he’d show up, this would all be fine.

I got out the treats. The clicker (a new tool we’ve been working with). I started calling.

Nothing.

No rustling. No bird sounds. No response at all. Just three peacocks staring at me with expressions that clearly said ” Neo who?”

No panic. No Marco Polo calls. No concern whatsoever.

Then Morpheus started making that guttural clicking sound — the one that’s straight out of a Jurassic Park movie — talking to Han and Leia. My mini raptors were having a conversation.

I imagined it went something like:

” Hey… didn’t we have a fourth bird?”

” Ugh… no? Maybe he was eaten by another dinosaur.”

” Sounds right. Anyway. Lunch?”

The Search

I searched for ninety minutes.

My parents’ property. The road. The barn (a large storage building that is absolutely not a barn but we call it that anyway). Nothing. Not a sound.

I called until I was hoarse and the sun was going down.

I texted my parents. Then I decided it was worth blasting the neighborhood text chain.

“I have a missing peacock. He is nice and uniquely colored.”

I attached a picture. I started imagining worst-case scenarios. Maybe he got spooked by the branch that fell during our recent ice storm. Maybe he was tired of being locked up for days during the sub-freezing temps. Maybe he’d just… run away from home.

Great. My teenage peacock has left to find himself.

The Four-Foot Fence

I turned the corner to go inside, defeated.

And there he was.

Stuck on the other side of a four-foot fence.

A four-foot fence.

Let me be clear: fences are the mortal enemy of peacocks. Mine get stuck behind two-foot fences. They can fly. They just… won’t. Not over something that lacks “real structure.” Up and over an object with no mass? Apparently impossible.

He must have gotten spooked, taken to the air, and landed just on the other side of our property fence — into our neighbor’s yard. The neighbor who doesn’t live there full time. So he was alone. In a yard. Staring at a fence he could absolutely clear but had decided was an insurmountable obstacle.

He hadn’t called for anyone.

Not once.

Moving On

The best I can figure is that Leia went up that tree trying to spot him. She called for an hour. Got no answer. Came back down.

And then… they all just moved on.

Neo ‘s gone. Anyway, what’s for dinner?

He’s fine now. Back with the flock. Acting like nothing happened.