The Peafowl Bedtime Saga
If you read last night’s story, you already know Morpheus and Neo tried rooftop camping like they were training for a wilderness badge.
I assumed this was a one-time mix-up. A timing issue. A simple case of birds being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
That was adorable of me.
Because after one night of rooftop camping, everyone apparently decided this was the “cool” thing to do. And since peacocks are basically teenagers with feathers, “cool” always wins over “safe,” “warm,” and “literally your heated greenhouse is right there.”
It escalated quickly.
Night Two: I Came Prepared
The next night, I stood outside early. I was ready. I had a plan. I had treats. I had hope.
So naturally, the peacocks had a different plan.
Before I could even point everyone toward the greenhouse for bedtime, I spotted Leia on the greenhouse roof, with Han up there too, looking pleased with himself in that “I did a crime and got away with it” way.
Meanwhile, Morpheus and Neo were on the ground, running around like they were trying to find the ladder to join the cool kids.
I tried everything.
I coaxed. I cajoled. I bribed with treats.
I said things I will not repeat here because this is a family blog.
Also because the peacocks do not care.
The Moment I Realized I Was Negotiating With Birds
At one point, I actually pulled it off.
I lured the Little Ones over to the greenhouse. I was seconds away from victory. I could taste the peaceful evening.
Then Morpheus and Neo looked up.
They saw Han and Leia already settled on the greenhouse roof.
And right then, you could almost hear the thought bubble:
Oh. We’re doing that tonight.
They immediately flew up onto the greenhouse roof.
It was like running a bedtime routine for toddlers who just discovered parkour.
The Treats Again
I went inside for more treats, because apparently I have accepted my role as a snack-based negotiator.
When I came back out, Morpheus flew down to me like, “Hi mom, I love you, I am reasonable, I am listening.”
Neo stayed up there.
Because Neo is loyal to Morpheus’s worst ideas, not Morpheus’s brief moments of good judgment.
Then Morpheus flew right back up to the roof.
Of course she did.
Final count: Four peafowl on the roof of the greenhouse for the night.
I stood there in the dark, holding treats, watching my birds ignore me from above.
This is fine.
The Next Few Nights
Night three, Morpheus and Neo stayed in the greenhouse like sensible birds.
Han and Leia stayed on the roof like they were supervising.
So that was… something. Not victory. More like a compromise that nobody agreed to.
Night four?
All four were on the greenhouse again.
Because if there is one thing peacocks do well, it is take a routine and turn it into a rotating schedule of nonsense. Just enough hope to keep you trying. Just enough chaos to keep you tired.
Tomorrow’s Plan
Tomorrow I am going to pick up a light to put outside the greenhouse door. The plan is to make it the brightest thing outside, in hopes it will lead them in.
Will this work? Maybe.
Do I have high hopes? No.
But I am committed to learning every possible way to lose an argument to four birds.
If you need me, I’ll be outside in the dark, holding treats, and googling “what age do peacocks stop testing limits.”
Spoiler: they don’t.