Log In Register

Dispatches From the Ranch

An ongoing documentation of questionable decisions

The most recent developments in the ongoing peacock situation. New incidents are posted as they occur. No resolution expected anytime soon.

🦚
New Here? Start With This
My Husband Said "No Chickens," So I Bought Peacocks Instead
Read the Origin Story
Sort by: Newest First | Oldest First
Case #1011
Logged: Feb 25, 2026

The Night Nobody Slept (Including the Raccoons)

Our springtime is usually pretty quiet. Today took the cake for sounds. A fox eviction, a greenhouse escape, a panic whistle, and a raccoon mating call that nearly ended my husband.
peacocks ranch-life bedtime-saga james
The Night Nobody Slept (Including the Raccoons)
No progress
Case #1010
Logged: Feb 20, 2026

Meanwhile, at the Ranch #1

Meanwhile, at the Ranch #1: A turkey standoff, a fox eviction, a suspicious package, a squirrel that started a war, and a lizard who made a bad call.
peacocks ranch-life fox turkeys
Meanwhile, at the Ranch #1
Getting worse
Case #1009
Logged: Jan 29, 2026

The Day We Almost Lost Neo

There's a specific kind of text message that makes you leave wherever you are immediately. 'Something is wrong with your birds' is one of them.
peafowl
The Day We Almost Lost Neo
Send help
Case #1008
Logged: Jan 22, 2026

Where’s Our Package

Living down a dirt road has its advantages. No one can find you. The disadvantage is that no one can find your address.
peacocks ranch-life rural-living
Where’s Our Package
Why did we do this
Case #1007
Logged: Jan 9, 2026

The 5 Things I Didn’t Plan For When Raising Peafowl

I thought I had done enough research before getting peafowl. I knew about diet, diseases, injuries, survival rates. I read about behavior patterns and took notes. I felt prepared. I was adorable.
peacocks ranch-life peafowl homesteading
The 5 Things I Didn’t Plan For When Raising Peafowl
Nobody learns
Case #1006
Logged: Jan 7, 2026

The Night My Husband Put Four Teenage Peacocks to Bed

After a week of bedtime battles with four peacocks, my husband solved the problem in three minutes by doing absolutely nothing. The answer was silence.
peacocks bedtime-saga peafowl james
The Night My Husband Put Four Teenage Peacocks to Bed
Classic
Case #1005
Logged: Jan 6, 2026

The Night I Trained My Gargoyles (In The Sleet)

It was an hour after sunset, with a north wind blowing sleet straight into my face, and my 'not so Little Ones' were huddled on the roof of the greenhouse. Naturally.
peafowl winter training
The Night I Trained My Gargoyles (In The Sleet)
Predictable
Case #1004
Logged: Jan 5, 2026

The Night I Discovered Why My Birds Hate Bedtime

I have cameras all over the peacock area. Tonight I discovered the real reason Neo and Morpheus have been choosing rooftop camping. Han and Leia are bullies.
peacocks bedtime-saga revelation bullying
The Night I Discovered Why My Birds Hate Bedtime
No progress
Case #1003
Logged: Jan 4, 2026

The Night I Turned The Greenhouse Into An Airbnb

I got a spotlight installed. I had treats. The greenhouse looked like a beautiful Airbnb. And Neo betrayed me with confidence.
peacocks bedtime-saga hardware-solutions defeat
The Night I Turned The Greenhouse Into An Airbnb
Getting worse
Case #1002
Logged: Jan 3, 2026

The Night My Teenage Birds Escalated The Rebellion

After our first night of rooftop camping, everyone apparently decided this was the 'cool' thing to do. And since peacocks are basically teenagers with feathers, 'cool' always wins.
peacocks bedtime-saga teenage-rebellion
The Night My Teenage Birds Escalated The Rebellion
Send help
Case #1001
Logged: Jan 2, 2026

The Night the “Little Ones” Went Camping

At a very responsible hour (meaning: way too late), I discovered the Little Ones were not in the greenhouse. They were on top of the greenhouse.
peacocks bedtime-saga
The Night the “Little Ones” Went Camping
Why did we do this
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x